Velociraptor Awareness Day – April 17
Mark it in your calenders. April 17. Velociraptor Awareness Day. This is not a joke.
Remember Jurassic Park? They can open doors, people. They’ve got talons that can gut you in an instant, and they’ll eat your guts as they fall out of your belly. Yes, this is serious business.
On April 17, I encourage you all to take the day off, cancel all other activities and spend your time making sure your house/workplace/residence is Raptor-proof:
- Windows need bars, they can easily break through glass
- Replace all door handles with door knobs, they have no problem with the handles
- Make sure all floors are polished and smooth, their feet will have little traction
- Don’t bother with security cameras, they probably have some in your house
- Have a spare cow hanging from the ceiling, it can be lowered to distract them
- Install three deadbolts on every door, they are very crafty
Remember, Raptors are deadly killing machines. If you see one, you’re already dead.
For more tips, visit the facebook page for the event.
Do not take this lightly.